Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda
by Rev. Rita Scheibeck
There are days, and then there are DAYS. And on those DAYS, I just don't want to hear it, no matter what it is.
My daily readings and spiritual guidebooks talk about blue skies, warm sunshine, and fragrant flowers...and I just don't care. My astrological report for the day says I should get moving to create a new life path for myself... and I don't even want to get out of bed. My guided meditation wants me to breathe deeply and exhale fully. What I really want to do is breathe in so I can tell my YouTube meditation library to go jump in a lake!
Yep, those are the DAYS I'm talking about. No matter what it is, I really don't want to see it, hear it, or feel it at all. And those are the days when I feel most discouraged, despondent, and defeated. I think the hardest part of days like those is that no matter how good the prompting and guidance are that I'm receiving, I almost always "should on myself." And while that sounds really funny, it's not a laughing matter at all. What I usually experience is that condemning myself makes me feel ten times worse than I already do.
I didn't care about the fluffy clouds and birdsong to begin with, and then I blame myself for not going along with the author's imaginative writings. I didn't want to move from under my covers to start any type of creative project, and then I called myself names like "lazy" and "neglectful." My guided meditation seemed trite and overused, but then I criticized myself for not being spiritual enough to care, "shoulding on myself" yet again.
I'm sure there are a variety of ways to get people out of themselves long enough to care about something again. For myself, I have found that a sure fire way to get out of the doldrums we're discussing is to demonstrate my care for someone else. I'm talking mostly about giving my experience and my time.
If I don't want to read my spiritual guidance books, I have some extra time to help my classmate through his math assignment. If I'm too stubborn to think about creating something for myself, I can offer to help my neighbor, who's planting a garden. I can also enlist the help of a friend to make a commitment to volunteer at a charity or special event. As long as I follow through on my commitments, I'll release my indifference when making the plan and when I'm completing it.
So instead of blaming myself, a great way out of my apathy is often to help fulfill the needs of others so I can feel useful and productive. It sure beats the "shoulda, coulda, woulda's" that only make me feel worse.
Affirmation: I refrain from berating myself for the temporary indifference to my own needs. Instead, I now look to the needs of others, where I can find a sense of spiritual helpfulness and peace.
I now allow, acknowledge, accept, and affirm that these things are so.
As a regular contributor to "The Rose", Rev. Rita's column "Sacred Thoughts" will feature her blog posts. She is a psychic psychometrist available for readings in person or by phone.
Feel free to contact her for details by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or by phone or text at 352-284-8609