The Clash of Spirit and Human Fear
by Rev. Vickie Spray
As a spiritual counselor, I have been a witness to the fear in humans that keeps us in the frustrating cycle of, “I can’t because…” And of course, not only have I been a witness to that fear in others and continue to be a witness, I have also been an active participant of that fear in my own life. It’s painful.
We, as humans, have this huge spirt inside of us that urges us to take our light out from under a bushel and we have a hardwired safety mechanism throughout our physical system that demands we stay within the known. That clash between spirit bigness and human nest fortification is becoming more intolerable for many of us. In my line of work, I now see it almost every day.
A woman I know, whom I have worked with off and on for years, is a shaman. She felt called to study the shamanistic tradition, and she started to allow the process of internal internship that Spirit conducts. She even put herself out there as a shaman and got a few clients. But when other clients did not beat her door down, and she had some business bumps appear on her trail of discovery, she hastened back into the known work of being a hairdresser, where she was assured she could handle whatever challenges came her way. But she is a shaman. She was called to be a shaman in this lifetime after many lifetimes of building up to this possibility, and for a minute and half, she had aligned with that calling. For years, she stood behind a beauticians chair offering advise and listening to the troubles of her patrons, helping them some, but not much, while her satchel of herbs and tools of freedom rested in the back of her closet.
Her “I can’t because…” list was reasonable and easily justifiable. One of her lifetimes, was, more than likely, a lifetime that ended by being tied to a stake and burned alive as many healers were in many different lifetimes. Her present lifetime presented her with the similar energies of intolerance and fear from established religion. Her spiritual gifts were not welcomed, they were feared. She internalized her culture’s view and so she barely believed in herself and her calling. There were other fears mixed in as well. The fear of success, fear of failure, being seen, fear of not being seen, and anything that took her out of familiar, all played in her subconscious mind. But still, even with that primal list taking up a huge space in her heart, for a short while, she had found a way to put herself out there because the clash between her spirit and her fear had become intolerable. She actually had experienced what it feels like to help another human become freer because of her conscious alignment with her shamanistic calling. When she worked with her rattles, sage and she sang the songs of deliverance, she knew she was in the right place doing what she was called to do.
Her rush back to her job offered her relief, for a very short while. But the clash of spirit and fear, once again became intolerable. Our souls will remain loyal to our calling. Just recently, she has begun putting her name out there again. She had to. But this time, she would go a little slower and work through the fears as they came up. She would do ritual upon them. She became her own healer. She decided to stay behind the chair, with the known, but this time, for a while, she is conducting her shaman work part time. When an opportunity presents itself, instead of forcing it or repressing it, she goes with the flow of the opportunity. She is beginning to know herself as a Shaman who works part time as a hairdresser trusting, that one day, she will go full time into her shaman work. Some of her hair clients, the ones ready for deeper work of healing, have become her Healer clients. Her reputation as a healer is beginning to spread. She has decided that she is safe to become who she came here to become.
And I have been a witness.
Vickie Spray is a Spiritual Counselor who teaches healers how to mentor humans. She is creating an online healer community and she teaches online courses on how to spiritually mentor humans ready to be free.